Nth Day

Heyo, the 2009-2014 me.

Hiya everybody, it is been some times since I visit my own bloggie.

Oh well well look at the previous me.

The current me would like to put a *facepalm* on my face and laugh very hard. HAHAHA

God damn, all these memories. Anyway since not many people will see these, I'll guess I carve some of my wishes to here.

This is speaking from The 2018 CS.

I've been through to the society for 3 years. Among these 3 years, the recent one was the most exciting part as I've been through the worst obstacle I ever met so far.

Well, after a few months. That shit went off eventually.

So, when I back to this blog. Somehow some memories went in back to me again, I began to remembered a lot of funny parts especially the 2012.

To claim back that.. Is it difficult? Well, not sure. Depends on my guts now.

Well I wish everybody will move on as well for me too.

2018 Wishes:
1) Whole year Net Worth: RM50k
2) Visit Japan once again
3) Get a girlfriend (Yep, I'm kinda serious now. But I'm embarassed to say hahahah, who will she be? Guess yourself XD)
4) Healthy
5) Opportunity to crack the path of self-employed.
6) 2019 Plans to earn money.

Well well, that's all I can write I guess. I'm not like the old me already haha.
If anyone, who come in and have a visit. Please comment it with hi~ I'll come back and see when I remember this blog again XD

All right, let's see which year of me will come back and see this again. 

Hide in the Night, Rephrase in the Day

Yep, it's October folks.
It seems my plans for future are in developing...
Yeah so far there are some changes between me myself in years ago and current.
Well I finally know what's going on about me so I'm actually quite curious what will I do for the days going on~
All rightie, to be honest. After since I decided to enchant my body to be a better shape, I've obtain tons of advice from many of my close friends.
Like, I should start get moving to my dreams as soon as possible.
At least you had do something!! Therefore there's progress of your goal route. Here the positive comments, what about negative comments?
Nah I don't think you should start to move it so soon since you don't have a stable income and yet you're too young to decide such path since you're still studying in a tertiary education industry.

Such hurt, so much bad comments.

Well, the real me aka my mind is currently thinking which path is the best for me to continue my dream. Yes, I'm desperate and I wanted to be a pianist for most of the times. Because of I'm a lack of confident and used to be a shut-in person in the house for a quite long time. It's been 18 years I guess. I'm actually tried to blame my parents because they are not really that supportive us to do anything we like. We're fixed to be some specific jobs that always mentioned in the school. Well, I seriously not interested on those. I rather prefer to play piano/keyboard all the time for my entire life. It's much better to be in some industry and work like a robot. NO!! Like hell I would do that. So sometimes, I'll be mad at my parents because they didn't even ask us what we like. I'm kinda regret for staying inside the house without knowing the world news for all the time. Why would they prefer to let us stay inside the house? Why don't you communicate with your children first? Seriously...
By flipping the pictures about the previous me, I see nothing. Just some fake emotions reveal from the picture. We kids are not happy because of something that parents can't even understand what are they doing. They think they always right. That's why I'm a bit felt like I'm forced to be a shut-in person rather to hang out with friends. 

Seriously, I don't really want to blame them for crafting me as the previous me. Everyone should change when the times come. Ever since I joined my college life, I'm lucky to meet some brats that used to encourage me to do something I like. In combination of some who always have "future minded" people's advice, I've finally stand up and steps on the first platform to my goals. Yes, the current me is yet imperfect but it's improved a lot compared to the previous me. I am trying to draw out all of my potentials in these years to prove that I'm not that fail as a normal human. Each human should have their own specialities. Draw it out bitch! Even you do not know which is it. Just fucking do everything until you like that thing. Currently, I like basketball, jogging, playing "Love Live". As usual my favourite of favourite is still piano and keyboard. I don't know why but my fingers are just always want to try to feel piano. Some of my friends always tell me that it's too late to learn due to age problem. I am going to say that, "Bitch please" I don't believe such theory, what I believe is in hardwork and potential. If these simple terms are unable to understand. Then what are we living for? You live in a world without try to achieve anything? Try to be a completely normal human in the world? Come on =_=". 
Think positively, don't because of other retards' comments caused our dream ruined. I'll continue to pray and hope that one day I'll be the best of the best as a World Ranking Pianist. That's my greatest dream. 

I had once live in a world that I'm not feeling that my body is controlled by me. I don't like that so I turn it down and struggle to control back. Now I have the chance to make a turnaround. Why not to spend all your best to do it? I'm normal but it doesn't mean I'm not unique. 
I shall be the one who conquer the hatred soul that hidden inside my heart all the time.


Anyway reports for my current condition:

1st of October,
-Semester 5 of Electronic Engineering (Year 2)
-Struggling

-81~82kg so far 

-Planning to do something extreme before this year ends

-Planning to buy a keyboard for myself as birthday present 

-Decide to challenge something new

-Want a stable relationship with family

-Gain more knowledge about the world

-Try to be independant 

-Ain't got time to give shits to the people who're wasting my time

-Try to be cool

-Need more energy

-ANIMES!!! 

That's all for today, so on!
Road to the best of me!
I shall carry all the burden that caused by me myself from now on.

Will That Day Ever Comes?

That day...
Maybe?
Let's see if I can do it or not..

It's consider one of my earliest goal in my life...
Yet after so many years...
Still not achieve yet...
I'll make sure...
This time.
I'll..
Achieve it...

Challenge Accepted?

Challenge is good
Every time when I saw there's challenge happening around me,
I felt lively..
But at the same time...
I don't like to win someone...
Reason (1): It's pointless when someone's not having fun with me...
Reason (2): I win people, but I didn't win myself...
Reason (3): I'll find out it's actually quite annoying...

So actually when I saw someone cheer up and trying to show off their "things" to us,
I'll just look at them and mind said "Don't get too cocky... You won, but you didn't win everything."
Able to have fun with others is one of my interest...
Able to enjoy the moment of win or lose is one my desire...
Able to truly find an real enemy is one I seek...
How long? When? Or someday..?
Will a guy stands up and pick a challenge with me..
From that scene, I'll only wish for one thing..
I hope he's stronger than me...

Well, recently I had a look on my old memo...
And review some of my old memories during primary...
Ok... I guess I do remember something that a doctor had told me since I was primary 6..
That time I was overgrown( or maybe is over-fat), he do recommended me slim down by introducing some slimming company or services for me..
During that time, I was still a kid so I don't really care about my own body size...
As people say, do yourself
Right until now, I think back that actually.... I'm quite dumb to realize that...
Why I don't let myself a chance to slim down?
It's been like 19 years.... 19 years of fats were hiding inside my body...
Don't you ever want to be a thin guy?

Yes, I do
I have that kind of wishes..
But I have a mind weakness..
Which is, I do things.. but in a half way... I quit..
Reason (1): I have no idea...

But after sooooooo many years until last month,
Maybe is because my friend just got a girlfriend
Or even maybe not?
Or it's because of the anime I've chase and they attracted me...
Somehow...
Some kind of motivation pushing to slim down..
And now I tried to exercise everyday by just focusing on running...
True, I don't like run but I do enjoy the moment..
And there's some result about my one month exercises...
Guess I've slimmed down a bit due to my pants is starting loosen...
Oh my... the heck? Seriously?
I slimmed????
OMFG...

And so, this is an opportunity to slash down my weakness...
I'm on my way to slim down my body, and I must do it...
I wanna feel what is the feeling of being a thin guy..
I wanna feel what's the meaning of life...
I wanna feel what is the meaning of being hardwork...
And so.... I did...

Okay... Still, I have some problem like I can't really handle both anime desire and real world desire...
For now, I think that I'm lack of communication skills...
I lack of outer knowledge...
Maybe I need someone who can encourage me to join the "Outer"?

*Someday, I'll return the spears you had once pierce through my fragile heart. Someday, I will.
Let the game begins.
"Challenge Accepted!" 

Rephrase

Okay, I'm back for some lil of blogging again
When you'll see my blog updated
Most probably on the next day is my english related exam

Oh well, nothing's great happening around me
Since that day I hid myself inside my room for few months
Yet, still doing the same thing :3
Meh, that doesn't really matter at all...
Cuz, by the time goes~
I'm starting to realize...
I'm just an ordinary peep
LOL

So actually, I'm just temporary hiding my true ability...
YES, TEMPORARY... but when will it really reveal?
I don't know...
It depends me whether want to face the freakin reality or not..

I realize something...
For all the time, I just use "escape" route to force my mind to think that those questions are solved...
Yet, it's always cling around me...
Just standing outside the "Escape" room and wait for my return...

Dumb me isit?
Oh well.. We'll see...

Nothing much to write...
Coz my brain have stucked about few months
And everyday only think about games, strategies and more~~

Time set: 1X days left for me to change my little path of myself in my life...

So..
Ok...
End...
I guess?
Oh wait...
Tomorrow I'm having a freaking Civic subject as my Final...
My personal opinion is...
I don't really to take these kind of subjects....
Coz everything based on theory, logic....
For some reason, it is hard to let someone like me who being a neet inside my room
To understand so much about outer world...
I hate this subject but no deal..
Have to attend for this subject just to clear my Year 1 studies =_="...

Well, I just hope myself can get an acceptable result...
Just don't freaking fail it....


That day where Noctus realize how dumb himself was.... 

Think back when it was 2012...
There are so many mistakes I've did...
But recalling that year...
There's a mistake I can't really forget about it...

That's quite a trick...
For someone to realize it..
A reverse plan of my own to determine how desperate I want something...
After I've watched White Album 2 this anime..
It's quite make sense that I'm actually doing something similar...
But not those love scene :3..

Seriously...
I'm quite satisfy that year...
Able to talk with you so much...
I hope...
We can talk again...
Someday?
I believe in fate...

Fear

Fear... Yes... That feeling...
After so many days have passed....
You finally come back...
Terror of Finals....
After half of the Finals...
That feeling is back again...

More...
I need more of it....
Able to enforce myself to scare about it....
Give me more fear......